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  • 05 May 2025
  • by AFI

I often hear people frustrated even annoyed by the fact that they have been rejected after an interview. I used to feel the same before. Recently I realized that it's better off this way. I know it stings I've been there countless times feeling that wave of disappointment wash over me wondering where I went wrong.

What is the purpose of the interview dance anyway?

Let's get real about what an interview actually is. It's not just about them picking you it's a two-way street. Sure companies are trying to fill a spot looking at your skills if you fit their vibe or your personality but you're also sizing them up. Do you really want to spend a huge chunk of your life working there? I always make sure to ask questions and get a real feel for the place. If an interview feels one-sided like they're interrogating me I see that as a major red flag 🟥.

The interview consists of different stages as part of the recruiting process in order to fill a vacant position. The company selects the right candidates to pass to next stages depending on some criteria usually well defined such as:

  • personal abilities
  • professional soft skills
  • cultural fit
  • team vibe
  • technical skills (last on the list because they no longer matter as they used to, see my networking skills article)

The employer has full control right? Well, nope

The truth is that an interview it's a two way street: the employer wants to find out if you are a good long term fit for the position and YOU want to find out if you'd like to spend a big part of life working for that company. That's why it's important for you to be given the opportunity to speak about yourself, your aspirations and your expectations. Don't hesitate to ask questions if something is not clear, be assured and confident, it's a ball game that you need to control as well.

You can check my article about interview questions.

You've been rejected but it's not the end

So after doing well during interview, at some stage they reject you. Don't be sad, don't be blue, everyone gets rejected too! Usually they provide feedback as to what they would expect and what you can improve, albeit pretty generic oftentimes. If it's because your technical expertise is not up to date, it's an opportunity to learn. But if it's about a cultural fit or team atmosphere you should actually rejoice!

I always say that you should be glad that you were not selected. Every recruiting process aims to see how well you'd fit in the team on a daily basis. In this case, the ball is in their ground because they know better what sort of daily tasks they perform. If they decide you might not like the job, of course they will not offer you the position, simply because in 6 months you'll quit! At this stage you can also assess whether you'd like to work in that particular team. That's why I insist of you asking the right questions and be true to yourself.

The key take aways

For me, getting rejected is not something new. It's something I actually rejoice since I learn more about the company and what is desired on the market. I was also lately rejected for some positions which were advertised as "Software Engineer" but it turned out to be more technical support than development. If they didn't reject me, I probably would've have rejected them myself! What's the point of working somewhere just for the cash without enjoying what you do?

Getting rejected after an interview isn't a failure it's a redirection. Don't panic and move on, learn from it and find a place where you'll actually thrive not just survive 😊.